Something worth dying for.

tears i hear from her...that can make a man like me cry...

today...she called me...crying on the phone...her heart broken by a guy who presume he loves her...

words couldnt express my feelings...i was in the midst of a dota ladder game(oops xD) when she called me...i immediately lost the feeling to dota le...my heart was aching...she putting a brave front saying that "eyes swollen cannot cry..." but deep inside i knew she felt like breaking it all out...i stopped my playing asking zhen to help me play...she told me what happened...honestly that dude...have he even considered her feelings when he brought that friend along? Seriously...you just made the girl you love felt like a light bulb! She felt so left out...going back and apologize at her house shedding tears wont answer her call of love. The outmost job of a lover is the be there whenever shes down...to make give you that smile that would go across her face. Cuz that very smile...would light up your world for the days to come... you might wanna ask me why i know so much...i aint a show off or whatever...ive learnt it...learnt it the hard way...

we went on talking about different stuff...tried my best cheering her up...talking about any other stuff besides matters of the heart...just when the conversation was heating up...just at that moment...her ex called her...i felt jealousy...but yet if i were to stop her from talking to him...it would be too selfish...so i had to let her go.

After that hell broke lose...i felt light headed...my heart started pumping at a uneven but fast rate...gasping for air every second...soon i couldnt take it...so i went to coffee bean and bought a mocha frappe. half way through the cup...in the midst of gasping...i vommited on the floor....the world wasnt the world but a merry go round. I collapse on the ground...closing my eyes i saw her crying...i tell myself "why brice? why?? control yourself....you aint that weak you noob"got dragged back...packed up my bags and made my way home...throughout the bus trip i was gasping and with my heart beating so fast...

everytime i closed my eyes i see her...my heart has nver felt like this b4...
...
back home...i immediately msged her...to ask if shes okay...long and behold her reply came...with a huge sigh...she was okay! However... the result was not as expected...oh well its only for me and her to know...

Tmr we both have tests...she'll be going back to malaysia...hope it helps her calms her feelings and her mind...and come back as the jolly girl inside and outside i have always known her as ^^V

She must be sleeping and all the way in lala land now. It makes me glad that my cute lil red panda is sound asleep =D

Since my last...I vow...that i will love my next with all my life...all my heart...all my soul....love has not only failed me once...not twice...but uncountable times...yet i never falter...and look for new oppurtunities again...the dude up there gave me this chance to know a beauty that first caught my eye...but who will ever know...what the future brings us...all i can do is wish for the best...

What if one day...
i told you...
i dont want to be just a listener no more?
i wanna be more then that...
♥
i have no idea...arghhh...mixed feelings...wait...do i even have a chance?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 @ 12:43 AM

mission impossible...huh...bring it on

what is love?

meant to make you cry...or meant to give you the best feeling in life...

just had a conversation...with a friend...kinda amazing...all along i tot that she was those happy go lucky type that just live by the days and thats just it. But in fact no...shes just putting on a brave side...much alike me huh. Always going to sch...smiling i guess...but whats in my mind is a totally different story.

Well sms her and all her sms back were actually emo. humm so well i asked her on msn like really what happened... seems like love has not forgiven us...haha! Im not the only one stuck in this misery. Remembering the painful past. Slowly she opened up to me, about her past and how she wants to let it go. We both had our ways of breaking up...both seem cruel but if it was in any other way...it would have been worst. That im sure.

Abit of cheeky conversations here and there...about dating and stuff...guess im gonna have to take up mission impossible...its not easy...but who knows. I have failed umteen times...who knows i might strike at the best one of them all.

No matter what i greatly appreciate that sharing season i had with you la ji tong! Seems like you are not full of rubbish after all. Heehee Cheer up okays! I will give you more rubbish tmr to make you happier den ever! ^^

Although did the conv did not end in a smooth side...(haha i was playing dota when she replied me after her shower...oops xP forgive me!!!) well im sure she will understand! Hahahah!

Tmr, ice cream session...i wanna share my happy stories with you...i wanna give you my happiness in life...iwanna give you the very best to make you mine...no sad stuff...no tears to be shared...if there is a need i'll be a pillow(KING KOIL DUNNIPILLO QUALITY)...to let u cry on...that is...if u dont go shopping =.=" blehx fingers crossed!!

Take care of your beautiful eyes girl! They are meant for ppl to get mesmerised...=D

The ugly duckling once said she was ugly...

not knowing how she would turn out to be a graceful white bird that soars into the sky with beauty...

Just like how a diamond might be made of hard black carbon...

slowly evolving into the diamond i see glowing inside of you...

Operation: Impossible shall commence when exams ends...!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010 @ 12:03 AM

change...

so much have changed...1 year ago...i was doing free labour...managing a fragile relationship...and ohh was barely able to stand on 8 wheels...

now 1 year later i looked on....im saying F U to the free labour cuz it wasted 1 year of my life...and well someone has taken my left over KFC chicken bone...and haha now i hold a 34th placing for sliding(skating) in the whole SG...actually...that is not like VERY GOOD or some thing...others have done better...but hey...at least my name is on the list...

humm life nowadays...i have decided to stop handling too many friend groups...especially those that after all and so much i have done for em...they dont even show the appreciation...not even a slightest bit...ungrateful ppl...shattering my heart when i heard that "oh if he goes with us...im not gonna go..."...oh yes and acting friendly infront of me?

so well 2pid to say but...im kinda having a passive situation now...i really dunno if i should press on or just well forget it... haha i will leave that to time...

for now its gonna be studies and sliding...parallel slide parallell.....bend your knees go low...feel the slide...body C straight...omg so hard >.<"

Its like having your own blood daughter calling some other wife stealer...."daddy"...its pain so pain that im gonna make sure that its not gonna happen again...well KFC chicken bones have no brains after all...its just pure meat and oil...hahahahaaa

Thursday, February 4, 2010 @ 12:21 AM

I KNEW IT! lol

there she goes...with the very guy i expected and suspected....she tries to hide his name with letters and stuff...lol what can i say....i was her man for 1year and 4months? Good enuff time for me to read her mind...

what can i say...i have nothing gotta do with her now...neither do i want...im just gonna sit down...relax...keep my eyes open for new oppurtunities...oh and as well as see how long they would survive in the flames...how long can you hold "E"...would you beat me? Lets see...you friggin backstabber...

Oh its the holidays!! Haha photoshoot anyone? Gonna get my new lens next tuesday =D cant wait to shot!

Since the very day one...i could see it in your eyes...that u liked her...

noob lol ^^V

Saturday, December 19, 2009 @ 3:56 AM

...

why do you never fail to make me cry...

go along...go along with that bastard...i wish you all the best...

traces of you still remain in my life...

all i want now is the capture the moment...happy moments...with my camera...

damn you heartbreaker...

Goodnight

Thursday, December 17, 2009 @ 2:14 AM

She was a angel...now she's a bitch...

dissapointing...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 @ 2:24 PM

New sem...new troubles...FML

What happened to us X? Around a year ago...i was happy like hell to have you in my arms. Like an angel...within my grasp. Happily dodging your parents often spots...looking out for Dad in MRT...times alone in the lift. Haha those were the days....every morning we would meet making sure even though we couldnt start our everyday in bed...we made sure we start our day seeing each other first thing we got to sch! It turned from bad to worst when assignments and my council issues started coming in....2pid arguements...you and your stubbornesss...me and my standards...

Now look at you. Not the Angel you used to be. Maybe on the outside. But i feel the change in your aura and body X. Yes i do. The way how cold you can be to me that day was SHIT! Honestly SHIT! Any other normal guy would just slap you at that moment you raised your hand phone to break the conversation atmosphere. You just broke the most basic rule of etiquette! There i was asking about how your family was doing...you were there sms-ing away. And the answers you gave were barely sufficient. You said i changed for the worst. YOU KNOW WHY IT SEEMS SO! CUZ I CHANGED A SHIT LOT FOR YOU! FOR YOU! Thats the reason why i seemed better last time....too vulgar for you? Only after the break you realised shit like you dont dress feminine enough, that guys need to be vulgar at times, and other crap. WHY ONLY AFTER THE BREAK UP! I told you from the very start. That the break also considered the fact that you could not realise all those crap unless you were away from my comfort zone.

Look at you now...you are a dark angel...im very sad...im sure that i didnt groom you to this...i didnt ever want you to be like this....look in the mirror...what do you see X? What do you see...

Im tired of giving in...so many said im too kind...am i?

Thank You god for giving me the group of project mates i have(helping me with my work whenever they can), with the new Junior class of 1MO3 that i have fallen fall...they are the most fun people to be with....love you guys from the very bottom of my heart.

Suprize for her when the clock strikes 12 on saturday....

Hope everything goes well...please...

Goodnight world!

Shit i still have class tomorrow morning!

Thursday, October 29, 2009 @ 1:32 AM